Friday, April 8, 2016

Dear sunlight


We see life through the glasses of our own perspective, 
to overcome our culture and what has been planted in us
by circumstances in our lives is very hard and this has 
been reminded to me these days!

This year has been like a bucket of shocks, 
one by one they have been rudely thrown at my face, life 
is helping me awake in a strange hard way, specially the
 last one, which made me realize I became one of 
my worst fears, I conformed, I didn't really fight for my 
self, for me, for my dream, 
Yes, I have again, been scared of being hurt. 

I also put others first without even seeing it!
Weirdly, this also comforts my soul, that I think of others and
how I could hurt them so I don´t do it, this makes me feel
at peace with the world, with my consciousness but on the
other hand, I doubt about how much I should do it.

These days, they became dark days, in spite of spring, 
communication is the basis of any relationship, without this, 
one is destined to fall into misinterpretations and sadness, 
dreams may turn into nightmares.  
I feel lonely without communication, I feel left 
alone and that the others don't care. 
Why? Because I tend to make assumptions, some days
they are right but some are not and this leads to pain.

From now on,  before making any kind of assumptions and if
I can´t communicate, I will try to kindly ask my self:

Through the lenses of what I see what I am seeing?
Do I see events through the eyes of the past?
How, how can I see better?
How can I trust my interpretations better?

And I keep wondering:

What if all I saw was nothing like they intended?
And if they did, why should I make it real for my self?
Am I over protecting my self from the world?
What if all I saw was mocking but it was not? 
Do I need to know how others think so I can see anyhow?
Is my imagination going weird places?

Assumptions can put you in a inner battle that may drown you
and make you do things that you regret later on, specially for those
like me, who are still learning how not be over emotional,
but there it is again, lessons are learned and you keep understanding 
more of who you are now, who you want to be and learn to become it.

comforting my soul like nothing else,
making this world even more magical...
dear sunlight: 
let your hands embrace me in 
your lovely friendship, I´ll be 
the moon reflecting thee.
I don´t ask for anything but this.

 I was falling into numb
but the fire came and burned me deep,
so deep I can no longer be who I am.

I'll pick up the pieces 
build it up again
may time be my friend
may courage lead the way.

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